just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
