I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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