So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
