maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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