I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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