dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
