Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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