in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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