am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
