I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My cat gives me a boner
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
