I showed him my bush... on skype.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We had sex on a dog bed..
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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