She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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