i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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