I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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