It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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