it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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