Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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