dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
