At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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