So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you will always have a special place in my vag
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
