Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
