I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize