giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I FOUND THE LEGS
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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