the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
