Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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