beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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