He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
