Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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