i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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