Having a random hookup so left but love u
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My life is pants optional.
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