I have demons in me.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
