i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
