I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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