Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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