we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
