Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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