I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
