So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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