wat bout pragnant strippers??
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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