So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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