Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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