Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize