If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
