Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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