Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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