That's intense
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
