It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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