Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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