I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize