she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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