I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
