just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
