just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
