cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
