GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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