just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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