i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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