I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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