Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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