i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
