ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize