help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
