I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize