dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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