I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
